Art Therapy

There is this one type of art therapy I was always pretty sceptical about. I tried it before but I was like – yeah, it must be helpful. For some. Under certain conditions. Very rarely. And to a very limited extent. Basically not helpful at all. Just creating an illusion of at least being helped. But today I was stressed so I tried it.

I was boiling for several hours, I could not express my stress, I had to pretend everything was fine, I could not talk to anyone (although at one point I did consider doing so), and I realized I needed to do something about it so I began drawing this grid for an art therapy thing:

I drew the grid (there has to be much more sections, I just had a really small piece of paper) and began filling each square with a painting of my feelings at the time. The rule is to finish drawing in one square when your emotional state changes.

As you can see, I started off pretty bad. Funny thing, I kept thinking – you cannot just fill in every single square, you will have to leave some space at some point. This was probaly the reflection of my thinking that this situation cannot last – it will have to change eventually.

I guess the drawing reflected my mental state – I was FILLED with negative emotions with nowhere to put them, so the first two squares are what you see they are. Then this intense emotion turned into geometrical forms of symmetry and aggression – probably a reflection of my desire to control things and be aggressive about executing that control.

Gradually, I got rid of my desire to fill in the squares completely and ended up in an actually pretty nice place drawing that thin layer of what appears to be a grey veil – you would not believe me but by the time I drew that I felt that lightweight experience of a transparent fabric. If not free, I was certainly relieved. Not for too long, not radically, but the point of this exercise is making the client emotionally available for therapy and being able to think rationally. Those criteria I was certainly meeting the moment I finished drawing.

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