We Have to Go Back

Just watched a film that got me thinking about how once we choose one path, we can’t just turn back around and go down an alternative path should we not like our first choice. Our first choice is our only choice. We don’t get to live our lives twice. Once we make the very initial decision, it’s done, it’s there, in our minds, and everything we do from that moment on is directed by that decision – we are either abiding that decision or trying very hard to divorce from it, shake it like it never happened.

I might come across as someone who does not believe in forgiveness or ability of people to change. But this is not the case. Case in point is that there never truly is a second chance. Every decision we make is setting up the framework for the future, shapes it, curves the kind of a person we are, the kind of life we are going to live, brings on consequences.

And this finality of any decision is actually very helpful. In most cases, we can’t help deciding one way or another, even if we question our gut choice and try to make a different decision, the very first thought about what choice we should make is haunting us, it stays with us and influences everything we do. We may not want to do something but if our gut tells us that we want to, we gravitate toward the initial decision. There is no escape from who we are and what we truly want.

As a result, we often try to overcompensate and push the initial decision as far away as we can, and voila – we are left with our initial choice any way, in a reverted form, but it’s still there, staring at us.

We just need to sit back and relax. No decision is hard. We don’t need to think about it. Everything has been preconditioned by our biology, nurturing and immediate environment. The mind already has a decision for everything we have to encounter. We can’t fight it. We think that it’s us making the choice, but it’s not the case. We can’t resist doing what we choose to do even in situations where we feel like we could’ve handled things differently, it’s just that we are consciously making the choice to do them the way we do. Not so. We actually can’t choose any other way and we are delusioned into thinking we have free will.

I mean, it’s not “fate”, or “destiny”, or anything like that. It’s that we were born with a set of genes and a set of physical abilities, we were brought up a certain way and certain things happened to each and every one of us that made us into who we are today, and, finally, the circumstances that we are facing every day are just accidental and we are reacting to them the only way we’ve learned to, exactly like every single human being around us.

Yeah, deep down in my heart, I am a hardcore behaviourist like that. Always been. B.F. Skinner would’ve loved me.

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